Sunday, December 27, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Song For Daniel Chew Huicong

PS: Inspired by the Protestant Pope

A Song to my brother, Watchman-P.A.P.A., author, apologist, Daniel Chew Huicong. Sung in the tune of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas".




Lyrics

Dear Daniel Chew Huicong,

Have yourself a blogging-watching Christmas,
Let your hate be light
From now on,
your skeletons wouldn’t be out of sight

Have yourself a blogging little Christmas,
You damn to hell the Gay,
From now on,
their troubles will be blogged away.

Here you are in your judgment chairs,
Happy judging days … of yore.
Ske-le-tons that are dear to us
Out of clo-sets once more.

Through the years
Your blogs will gather together,
If “Blogger” allows
Hang Da-mo-cles sword above your balding brow.
And have yourself a blogging-watching Christmas now.

The Tares


Some more interesting links on ODM-ers:




Saturday, December 19, 2009

Some Misapplied Verses By ODMers

Read the following posts by The Protestant Pope ... hear ye, hear ye!

Ezekiel 3:17

2 Timothy 3:12

And here's another update by the Protestant Pope himself.

Even more skeletons found in Daniel Chew's closet. Truth will out!

PS: The secret lives of ODM-ers ...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

All Infants Go To Hell According To Daniel Chew Huicong

In one of the latest posts by the most-revered, most qualified, venerable Watchman-Pope-Apostle-Prophet-Author (or Watchman-P.A.P.A. for short) Daniel Chew Huicong (BSc Hons, A Levels Certificate, O Levels Certificate, PSLE Pass), he wrote:

“Faith thus includes the idea of cognitio, or understanding the propositions of the Gospel, as the proof-texts also show. There is thus absolutely no way to be saved without knowing and understanding the Gospel, which is part of faith itself. Since that is so, it is anti-intellectual and blatantly unbiblical to say that "Prescribing a level of understanding for salvation is in fact salvation by works". To be saved, one must have a level of understanding of the Gospel, and such is not works but the way in which faith is expressed in the believer. …

Faith thus include [sic] belief in the propositions of the Gospel. As such, we can know for sure that all who do not believe in the Gospel, much less those who had not heard of it, cannot be saved. It is supremely irrational and unbiblical to state that those who have not heard the Gospel in false churches can be saved, of which the Roman Catholic church is the epitome of false teaching, with the Pope being the Antichrist.”

Unbeknownst to his followers and fans on blogosphere, Daniel has pushed forward a very pushy, albeit rational and logical, statement that P, where P is:

P = All who do not believe in the Gospel, much less those who had not heard of it, cannot be saved.

Watchman-P.A.P.A. Daniel Chew even clarified further that “Faith [thus] includes the idea of cognitio, or understanding the propositions of the Gospel,” and that “there is thus absolutely no way to be saved without knowing and understanding the Gospel, which is part of faith itself,” because in order “to be saved, one must have a level of understanding of the Gospel.”

In his detailed comment on his post, Watchman Chew also states the set of 5 propositions of the Gospel he feels is necessary for salvation:

1) an understanding and conviction that Christ died for them
2) that He did so "according to the Scriptures"
3) Christ was buried - i.e. He really died
4) He was resurrected after the third day.
5) that by receiving and holding fast to the Gospel we are saved (v. 1-2)

Behold, this is perhaps the set of propositions for “simple” people. Read further to find out!

Daniel continues,

“For simple people, a simple Gospel presentation is sufficient. Yet, actually this [sic] can be expanded as follows.

1) "Christ died for them" = ? Which "Christ" are we talking about here? What do we mean by the phrase "dying for them"?
2) Which "Scriptures" or part of "Scriptures" is authoritative?
3) Define "buried"
4) Define "resurrection"- Literal or figurative?
5) What does "receiving" mean? What does "holding on" mean?”

So for “simple” people, the first set of 5 propositions is perhaps sufficient. What about people who are not “simple”? Daniel states clearly that the five propositions should be expanded further to include more propositions, such as propositions which describe “which Christ,” and propositions which explain the terms “buried” and “receiving.”

In other words, the actual propositions required for salvation as defined by the venerable Watchman-P.A.P.A. Daniel Chew Huicong depend upon the Gospel recipient’s simplicity. More importantly, we will require Watchman Daniel’s evaluation of your simplicity level – which is likely to be a cline or continuum – before we can know the set of, or even the grammatical construction of or the number of, propositions you are required to accede to prior to God’s approval of your salvation status. And I’m sure Daniel Chew would show us the proof-texts, parsed and exposited, which explain how we can assess the simplicity level of a Gospel recipient.

Truly, Chew is the way, the truth and the life – only he would know the exact “simplicity level” of a human being according to Scripture, and he alone would know what number or sets of propositions to prescribe for the salvation of your soul according to Scripture.

Do you know your simplicity level?

Hey, ask Chew. Don’t ask me. I have no idea what your “simplicity level” is. You might need academic Hebrew and Greek to fully appreciate the propositions of the Gospel before you are admitted into the presence of God.

Burn, Baby, Burn

Also, if P is true (as Daniel had so pushed for it, and clarified the proposition that P so clearly, and, ahem, perspicuously for us), then it follows that the following persons are unable to be saved, as these are perhaps incapable of understanding Sesame Street, much less all the propositions of the Gospel as prescribed by Chew:

1. Infants and children prior to acquiring the ability to understand the propositions of the Gospel;
2. Unborn children;
3. The blind, deaf and dumb i.e. persons deprived of all the senses necessary for learning and comprehension;
4. Mentally retarded persons who have an IQ level which is inadequate for them to understand the propositions of the Gospel;
5. Old Testament Saints that do not know all the propositions of the Gospel as revealed in the New Testament (and this depends upon their simplicity level as well);
6. David’s deceased child (the one he had with Bathsheba) – so when David said “I shall go to him (2 Sam 12:23),” David meant that he was going to hell to burn with his infant son (according to Watchman-P.A.P.A. Daniel Chew).

Hence, if P is true (as argued for by Daniel Chew Huicong), then all babies will burn in hell. All retarded children – be they Down’s, Edwards, Patau, or Warkany syndrome etc – will burn in hell. All your miscarried children will burn in hell. All your children who die before they are born will burn in hell. All your children who die before they can understand the propositions of the Gospel will burn in hell.

P and not-P cannot be both true. If P = “All who do not believe in the Gospel, much less those who had not heard of it, cannot be saved,” then King David is burning in hell with his infant son (2 Sam 12:23). This is only rational and logical, and for Clarkians who ought to be rational and logical, this is the inevitable conclusion.

We thank Chew for his inspired, infallible, perspicuous, sufficient and excellent exegeses and expositions.

All hail, Daniel Chew, hail to thee, who declared that your miscarried child would burn in hell for all eternity.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

One of These Things is not Like the Others

Do you folks remember the Sesame Street song, "One of these things is not like the others?"

It's a fond little game we play when we're younger.

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?


Now, which of these quotes belong to the label "Christian," and which of these do not?

A) Gollum, aka Mr Smeagol's preciousss - "They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgots the taste of bread, the sound of trees, the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name. My preciousss."

B) A Christian's Preciousss - "The kingdom of heaven is like unto a treasure hidden in a field. Which a man having found, hid it, and for joy thereof goeth, and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. Again the kingdom of heaven is like to a merchant seeking good pearls. Who when he had found one pearl of great price, went his way, and sold all that he had, and bought it." Matthew 13:44-45

C) Daniel Chew Huicong, aka Watchman Chew's preciousss - "They criticized us. Watchman they called us. They blogged about us. Hypocrites they called us. They criticized us, and blogged about us all the way. And we wrote precious, we wrote on our blog while being alone. And we forgots the taste of love, the sound of humility, the softness of the heart. We even forgot our own name - 'Christian'. My preciousss blog, papers, book and theology. My preciousss facade before Man."